Must Be 18 Or Older

To call? Or not to call? That's not even a question! For my whole childhood I have been tempted by the wonders of the world in those commercials. They promise all of life to be wonderful but then at the end they deliver those painful words: "Must be 18 or older to call". I've been heartbroken ever since. But not this day! For today I am a man! I am 18 years of age! I have the power to order the world and all it's glory through a telephone! (We'll ignore the fact that I don't have a credit card) So finally when I am alone today listening to Kids Bop 38, wrapped in my Snuggie, sipping from my 24-in-1 juicer, as hamburgers fry on my George Foreman Grill, while my Benda Roo creations lie next to my Moon Sand castle I shall finally feel like I was meant to feel. Like a MAN!