HEY! You ever get so sunburned you blister?! Pretty soon you think you're liable to get skin cancer at age 18! So two days ago I saw a gnarly old dude with these wicked dreadlocks. Who would want those? I mean they have the word DREAD in them! They must be heavy on the head! (I wonder if you pull on one a doorbell sound goes off?) I mean dreadlocks can't smell all that wonderful! Don't you need to put peanut butter in them anyway?? Maybe it's their personal way to stick it to the man! HEY BIG BROTHER!! I DON'T NEED SHAMPOO OR PERSONAL HYGIENE!! HAVE ONE! Applause to you gnarly old dude and your testament to the freedom fighters. Stay the course brother!