Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Why I Hate People

Dear Vile People,

Well it's no use ignoring the elephant in the living room. I hate you and you all hate me. And someone has serious hate issues if they're putting an elephant in my house. How did it come to this? I used to be bright, beautiful, and boisterous! Then I met you. Now I'm boring, belittled, and bitter. If I try to soar to new heights of joy and wonder, you, like gravity, suck me back down to your awful canyons of sorrow. Forget it. If I had a hemorrhoid for every time I got sick of living on the same planet as you I'd have a permanent residence in the hospital. The truth of it is, you can't please everyone. But you sure can make everyone hate your stinkin guts! You annoy the crap out of me with your petty fights, trash talking, cheating, lying ways! The most grotesque part of all this is that you've been slowly chipping me away making me just like you. HA! But not anymore you sick dog lickin, cat smokin, no good, sorry excuse of a trash bag! I'm breaking up with you. I know it's hard but if I continue to look at your sick face I might go mad. It's just come down to this, let me live my life and I'll let you live yours. Live and let live.

Hoping you rot,
Snoop Chimp